on this calm saturday evening, i've been sitting on my couch, sipping a tasty stone smoked porter and trying to update this here blog with stories of my current real life. everything i begin to chronicle, however, seems so..... normal.
i mean, i do lots of fun things, i guess... (although writing a follow-up sentence here is proving to be rather difficult)
it's just that living here in arlington and working in the DC area is a life that so many other people are living. not everyone can say that they've lived in italy and taught at an international school, or traveled to SE asia for 6 weeks, or driven the alaska-canada highway, so i've had a significant leg up in the realm of exciting life experiences during the last year and a half. and now i feel that i've fallen so far... maybe i'm still coming down from the high or i'm still struggling to adjust to staying in one place? how long is reverse culture shock supposed to last?
i struggle every day with my level of happiness. i am enjoying my time here (all 4 months of it so far) but i just feel like such a cop out. to be here seems like taking the easy way out -- i mean i already have friends here, family close by, to build a more long-term life here would involve almost no effort. so that sounds great! what's the problem? ugh! i don't know! i find myself welling up with tears in moments of even the smallest confusion. or when i'm stuck in traffic that i've learned to expect. what is wrong with me?
i'm teaching which is what i want to be doing. i'm doing something good for the world -- not everyone is willing to work to educate those adorable children with whom i spend most of my time. i have an excellent job at an excellent school in an excellent district with excellent funding with the best coworkers and an excellent class of students with supportive parents -- it just all seems too easy, too normal...
when i compare my current state of affairs to what i was doing a year ago, things aren't that different. we took weekend trips to nearby places like slovenia, verona, and venice . i still take day and weekend trips but they are to richmond, charlottesville, and other places in the great expanse of northern virginia -- it's much less exciting to write home about traveling across northern va for dinner than it is to tell of an osmiza adventure in slovenia. i'm still spending most of my time at school with small children and much of my free time is taken up by reading, running, and drinking illy coffee. and i'm happy.
i guess i shouldn't be complaining. i have just told you how i have pretty much everything i could need or want as far as a job and a life go and the fact that it's not terribly exciting for every minute of every day is no reason to complain -- that makes me sound like a little bit of a brat.
ugh.
when i compare my current state of affairs to what i was doing a year ago, things aren't that different. we took weekend trips to nearby places like slovenia, verona, and venice . i still take day and weekend trips but they are to richmond, charlottesville, and other places in the great expanse of northern virginia -- it's much less exciting to write home about traveling across northern va for dinner than it is to tell of an osmiza adventure in slovenia. i'm still spending most of my time at school with small children and much of my free time is taken up by reading, running, and drinking illy coffee. and i'm happy.
i guess i shouldn't be complaining. i have just told you how i have pretty much everything i could need or want as far as a job and a life go and the fact that it's not terribly exciting for every minute of every day is no reason to complain -- that makes me sound like a little bit of a brat.
ugh.
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