explosions in the kitchen.

dear family and friends,

while you may think that over the course of the last 6 months (or, rather, the 6 months before moving to italy) i have excelled in the sector of "cooking," you may want to reconsider.

with my pimento cheese creation skills blossoming, despite having to seek out substitute ingredients, i gained confidence. additionally, with the added difficulty of being a vegetarian in italy i have thought sporadically that now could be a good chance to really learn how to cook. i mean, i could cook some delicious things, easily, no?! fresh ingredients, delicious olive oil, and a gas stove? now was my chance to really learn how to cook. better yet, i won't tell anyone of this secret goal of mine and then i'll go home over christmas and blow their minds. this is what went through my head. i had big plans.

well. tonight, i believe that i may have changed my mind.

K, who studied in cortona, has a signature dish revolving around a sauce "al fumo" made of cream, pancetta, and vodka (among other ingredients). yes, i tried it and yes, it's indescribably incredible. we planned a gathering tonight that turned into a dinner that turned into an, "OH! i'll make fumo!" night. well! i had the brilliant idea to make the recipe alongside of her, but veggie-style - MINUS the pancetta.

what could go wrong?! why not?! i mean it's just bacon, what's the big deal?!

here goes:

step 1: heat up some olive oil with garlic cloves and a sprig of rosemary. check.

step 2: remove browned garlic cloves and wilted sprig of rosemary. check.

step 3: add bacon. (i simply skipped this step, turned the heat down, and waited for the next instructions.)

step 4: when the bacon looks like it's supposed to, pour in the vodka! 2-3 shots. check!

so much exploding olive oil + vodka mixture all over the kitchen.


there are spots on the wall that we (by "we" i mean "i") will have to bleach or paint over before they move out at the end of the year.

i mean this was a HUGE chemistry error. no, i didn't add a substitute fat before putting the vodka in. what would i have added?! boh.

i mean, it went EVERYWHERE. and then i essentially just threw all the ingredients in without any sort of thought and it just tasted like vodka. it wasn't my favorite concoction. i could not for the life of me figure out what it needed more of! what could i add to make it taste better!? was that the burnt wooden spoon i was tasting? or was it actually the sauce?

what it needed was pancetta. bacon. MEAT.

me: 0
meat eaters: 1

so, from now on (at least for a little while), i am going to keep to my cutting boards and cook-free recipes.  next on my agenda (thanks times 6543456787654 million to kshields) is TAKE IT AWAY HOUSE DRESSING.

i'll keep you posted on the trial and error process, as i don't believe that steak sauce exists in italy.


love always,

liz